Yo dont text me then not text me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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