I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
