dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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