I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize