I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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