I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
