There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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