It's like God shit irony all over that family
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize