9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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