apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
