I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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