Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
