I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
