I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Come on in and take your pants off
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