You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
