JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Pants are for mortals
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize