who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
