I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
