she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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