I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
