ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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