Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
