My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
