That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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