well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
