Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Randomize
