your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sorry about my life...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
