So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
