I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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