I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
