it hurts more in the daytime
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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