why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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