Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
