Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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