I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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