You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
