you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
