I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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