how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
