I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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