I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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