This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
