it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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