New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
