i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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