i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
