Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
