I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
