Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
