i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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