I smell stomach acid.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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