Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
