You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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