Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
