not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can I color on your dick again?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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