I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
