Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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